Those of you who have been following these columns regularly (thank you) are aware that we have many and varied animals around the farm here at Union Grove: sheep, dogs, worms, bees, chickens, etc. But to date, I have barely mentioned another exotic species that can be found prowling the fields and vineyards.

We have our own tame Englishman.

His name is Martin Crompton, and if you sign up for one of our tours, you are almost sure to meet him, as he has recently been designated as our principal tour guide. At first, I wasn’t sure this was a good idea; after all, tour-guiding, is an occupation that involves a lot of talking, and Martin, it must be said, talks funny.

But after thinking about it, I decided he would make at least a decent docent, perhaps even an outstanding one. I reminded myself that many Americans find a British accent quite charming, a fact attested by the recent trend in using British announcers in television commercials, a sure-fire indication of popularity given the amount of research that goes into such selections. All in all, I think the tour-takers are going to love Martin. He’s a naturally gregarious and charming bloke if ever there was one. Meeting my friend Kay for the first time, out in the field, he literally whisked her off her feet, exclaiming “You must be the beautiful Kay,” and giving her a big hug. Such conspicuous friendliness may be frowned upon in certain politically correct quarters, but, trust me, for women of a certain age, it can be quite a treat. Besides all that, Martin knows everything about Union Grove Farm and regenerative farming in general, so he can answer all your questions.

Martin was born into a working-class family in the working-class town of Oldham, on the oddly-named River Irk, just seven miles from the working-class city of Manchester in northern England. For Oldham, the “working” part comes from the town being home to a gaggle of textile factories that have been polluting the Irk (which, irksomely, is also prone to flooding) for more than two centuries, although recent decades have seen a decline in the textile industry, resulting in cleaner water and fewer jobs for the locals.

As a young lad, restless Martin couldn’t wait to get out, so he journeyed south to London, went into the sales business and made a great success of himself. But though he managed to amass a considerable stash of pounds sterling, he failed to find true happiness in love or business.

So he decided to chuck it all and travel around the world. By chance, he read a book on meditation by the celebrated guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, also known as Osho, and as a result spent nine months in Poonah, India doing yoga and other meditative and spiritual stuff. Osho himself wasn’t home, which was a surprise to Martin who with characteristic cheek walked in the front door of the temple and straightaway asked to see the guru, only to be told Rajneesh had departed this earth a few years previously. Aawkward.

It may have been during this phase of his remarkably diverse life that Martin became a devotee of the natural world and a healthy diet. Or it may go back to life on the Irk.

After many other adventures, Martin he found his way back to England, where he became national sales director for the Whitbread Beer Company, worked for Linda McCartney’s frozen foods concern until it was bought out by Heinz, and made a name for himself in real estate.

Somehow, after all that and more, he came to the former colonies and settled in North Carolina, worked in the health care, industrial equipment and clean energy industries and rented a house on the Union Grove property, as a result of which he met his landlord, Greg Bohlen. When Greg asked him what he did, Martin replied, “I help people solve problems.” Greg figured he had a few of those lying around, so they talked further, and Martin soon found himself in charge of solving the problems associated with turning a bunch of old forest lands and a dairy farm into a world-class vineyard, and doing it all with regenerative agriculture techniques, of which Martin was already a big champion.

Since then, grape problems have been solved daily, and although they will surely never stop coming, the record so far is bloody impressive. Greg (Martin calls him “the Guv’ner) had a few hundred vines in the ground when he and Martin shook hands on their no-contract gentleman’s agreement. Today there are thousands, and by next year there will be tens of thousands. In the process, Martin has become a recognized leader in the regenerative farming movement and in vineyard management, serving on the boards of both the NC Muscadine Grape Association and the NC Grape & Wine Council.

So that’s how Martin Crompton got to the fields of grapevines and cover crops here at Union Grove Farms, and thus became St. Martin in the Fields. Well, except for the saint part. I mean, he’s a great guy, but…no.

And now as our tour director.

Plan to take a tour and meet all our exotic animals, including Martin.

CHEERIO!